Spectacular Vindication of Existence

I did something really stupid today.  I mean this was astonishingly idiotic.  This is not something I am accustomed to experiencing.

I decided to take a ride with a local cycling club that I found on my way to class one morning.  I met the owner, Mr. Flavio Zappi while he made me a breakfast sandwich and I liked the stuff adorning his walls.  They seemed legit.  See for yourself.

http://cyclinginfo.co.uk/blog/cycling/zappis-cafe-cycling-club/
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http://flaviozappi.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/flyer-front3-20112.jpg

So this morning at 9am I rode over to the cafe and met up with about 25 other riders.  Flavio asked me if I would prefer to ride in the "medium speed" group and I declined, opting for the "fast" crew.  Mistake number one.  The fast group ended up being about ten Category 1 racers.  I was determined not to look like an amateur though, so I stuck with them.  I kept my head down and just pedaled for dear life.  I saved nothing at all for the return trip, thinking I could just hang out in the tiny pelaton and cruise back home once I was too tired to really crank it from the front.  Mistake number two, the big one.  By the time my legs exploded and I had to drop off the pack I was decimated.  I nearly clipped another rider which made me ashamed, but I apologized as they sped on past.

I looked around for the first time and found myself in an amazing place.  It was the English countryside of every postcard or movie I had ever seen where such places were depicted.  The few houses in sight were all made of ancient stone with thatch roofs and high hedges surrounding the property.  The fields were shrouded in mist being slowly burned off by the sun.

I continued riding for a while, thinking the medium group would catch up with me eventually and I could follow them home.  They never came.  I turned around and followed the route back in reverse as far as I could recall.  Eventually I came to an intersection I didn't remember.  I waved down a car and a couple in their fifties pulled over.  I explained the situation to them and asked which road would take me back to Oxford.  I will never forget the looks on their faces when they explained just how far from home I was.  I have no idea how far I had gotten with the fast group when I dropped off, nor how much further I went alone waiting for the medium group to overtake me, let alone how far I had backtracked to make it to the strange intersection.

I told myself that I had gotten into this on my own and I would damn well get out of it on my own.  So I started following the given directions back towards home.  After a few miles muscle cramps and spasms started setting in.  I altered my pedal stride and pushed through them.  Agony followed shortly thereafter.  Then total exhaustion.  This cycle repeated itself several times over the next two hours as I wound my way back.

When I made it to Botley Rd. at the outskirts of Oxford and recognized the landmarks I was exultant.  Traffic was locked up and people were crowding every street on their way into sunny Oxford-town but I felt like the only person on that road.  I punched the sky and screamed my triumph aloud.  When I made it to my door I leaned against the frame and wept.  Tourists eyed me warily.  I tried to explain the ordeal and they nervously said to each other, "I think he's exhausted, he looks like hes in shock."

When I collapsed on the floor of my room my housemates Juan and Katy came down.  Apparently I had been screaming in pain and joy though I didn't realize it.  Juan raced out to fetch Powerade and hamburgers while Katy fed me bananas.  They were very kind and I was immediately thankful to have such wonderful friends.  Though I made it back home on the strength of sheer resolve, I am healthy enough to write this blog tonight because of the loving care of those excellent friends.

***

That unfamiliar place I had arrived at where the couple set me on the right track was at the intersection of Church St. & Fernham Rd. in Shellingford, Faringdon.  Plug it into Google Maps and check out the street view.  Then zoom out and find Oxford to the northeast. 

I am Robert and I am Legend.