A New Term Begins

Although this is still nought week, or zero week, which is the week before Oxford term begins, our Shimer capstone course, IS 6 has begun.  We've already finished reading the Canterbury Tales and moved on to Luther's essays on the Reformation.  The Tales were interesting from a historical perspective as well as being beautifully written.  I don't think they belonged in the curriculum though, they don't speak to anything about the human condition and experience that we haven't already gotten from other sources.  Yes, the Tales highlight social and cultural issues that are still relevant, but so does the Bible, and Dante's Inferno, and Christine de Pizan's Treasure of the City of Ladies, and a host of others.  Anyway, the Luther is incredibly interesting, especially given Aunt Ruth's genealogy research which places branches of our family tree in Wittenburg, the place of Luther's ascendancy. 

I've also started reading Hume's Enquiry Considering Human Understanding - the work that was so extravagantly misunderstood that Hume was deemed a heretic for unseating the foundations of all morality and for removing God as the prime cause of everything (as if a scholarly paper could possibly accomplish that unless the readers allowed it to!)  Anyway, its one of the hardest bits of philosophy I've ever encountered but the fruits of its proper understanding are nothing short of amazing.  Hume answers the questions that I threw at teachers in grade school about the sources of all knowledge, only to be told I was being disruptive and that they didn't matter.  Um, pardon me teach', but they matter, big time.  Hume is quickly becoming a favorite. 

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We had an intensive rowing training camp all last week and some of this week.  Two outings on the water a day plus core stability circuits and rowing machine pieces.  My body was immolated in the intensity of the work.  I have never known such complete exhaustion.  I very nearly quit because I could do nothing else but eat, physically exert myself during training, and then go home to sleep.  It just didn't feel like a life to me.  And the work wasn't getting any easier while my energy continued to plummet.  After about five days though my body recovered and rebuilt itself seemingly overnight.  I was suddenly able to do all the core exercises without much trouble, the ERG work got easier, my times were faster, the boat felt easy and light - it was all gravy.  The confidence gained from that experience has fortified me yet further.

I endure this pain and torment and eventual renewal for two reasons.  First, I found something invaluable in the realm of agony that rowing brings.  Pain is a healing, purifying alembic.  It transmutes.  It is not easy to describe.  I wonder whether a life can be said to be complete that has not pushed itself this far and discovered its own wellspring of vitae.  The lesson gets deeper and more personal with every new session, and I won't give that up.  Secondly, and this was the reason that arose first chronologically, I want a seat in the Mens 1 boat for the upcoming Torpids competition.  Yes, Hertford will be fielding several mens boats, and yes I will certainly be able to race in one of them.  It isn't even expected that the first boat will be very successful given how high we are in the standings already - that boat will struggle to do more than stave off attackers and maintain its good position.  Yet I want in that boat.  Those are the coveted spots, where the eight finest athletes and oarsmen get to sit and pour their hearts into going fast together, for the college, for the old boys who still come down to watch and cheer, for the pure exultation of success at such a high level of competition. 

It gets decided tomorrow at the 2k test.  At the beginning of break I did one and got a new personal best at 7mins 14seconds, six seconds under my previous best time.  That time is nowhere near competitive enough to get me in the boat.  I need to get under 7 minutes to have a chance at the main boat.  I need to maintain a 500m split time in the 1:42 area for 2000 meters.  That will get me there in about 6:50, which should be enough. 

Whereas I used to be a nervous wreck around these tests, I have found the impossible zen that comes from knowing that I can deal with pain and keep rowing.  We did 6x500s and 3x1000s all this week and my times were excellent, right on target.  The true exhaustion didn't start to settle in until the final sets, which are beyond the 2000 meters necessary for the test tomorrow.  Moreover, I have some techniques to keep my mind off  the distance and the pain and to just keep moving.  If I can get myself through the first 1500 meters in good time, my tricks can get me the rest of the way - blind, bleeding, exploding, dying, screaming my triumph with every stroke. 

One of those seats will be MINE.